About a month and a half, I started dating a doctor. She says she’s all about “honesty” and not trying to control my life. But her actions say something different. A week before my birthday, I got food poisoning and was sick as hell. I ended up calling my family for help because she didn’t seem like she wanted to be bothered. My brother and my ex wife, who I’m still close with because we’re raising a child, nursed me back to health.
The day after my birthday, my brother, ex wife, and child took me out for lunch. My girlfriend broke up with me after I let her know I was going to lunch with them via multiple shitty text messages. Now she wants to get back together, after a week.
What the hell is going on?
-Jack, Not so back!
First and Foremost, I would like to ask you what you want in a relationship. Do you lack control in your own life or are you a controlling person? The reason why I ask is because we attract what we are or we attract what we need to teach us a lesson. So, I feel that you need to do a little self-evaluating. Take inventory on how your past relationships have been. Do you have a pattern that is beginning to form? Do you get into relationships where the individual appears to be one way, then as time progresses, they become someone else?
Ok, ok..so enough with the deep shit. Back to this doctor. The fact that she stated she’s not controlling and it’s all about honesty, lets us know that she truly is controlling and it’s not about honesty. Why was it necessary for her to give you a disclosure ?
So, does she have a pattern of being controlling? I motion to say, “Yes”!
Now, a little bit about you, the fact that you’re friends with your ex-wife says you’re about a peaceful non fussy lifestyle. Also, the fact that you decided to have lunch with daughter, ex-wife, and brother says that you are big on family and would be willing to include whomever you’re dating in your inner circle. So, if you decide to try and pursue something with the crazy doctor, have at i. And, if you decide to part way and keep mingling….know, that you have learned two thing:
1. Family/Friends is a very important component in your life. So, this quality must be important to whomever you court.
2. When a lady gives you a disclosure about her mess ups too early in the dating stages, it’s a large indication that she’s actually telling you that this is who she is and really isn’t willing to change them without resistance and a lot of work. These hang ups are usually all she can hear racing in her mind. So, yeah buddy boy, you have some things to think about.
Try this: Make a list with two columns. On one side, write pro’s/goods and on the other side, write cons/bads. Be honest and write away. If your cons outweigh your pros, then have a little talk with yourself and plan your exit. Good Luck to you love muffin!